Sometimes you end up where you knew you would, sometimes where you never thought you would. That is how you know your are doing it right. “It” as in “life” because what other subject can be so hard to figure out other than love, which is life. They say “timing is everything,” who ever they are I would agree with them but I would also say according to what time? Which clock are we all riding on because some have it figured out so early and unless they are hiding how miserable they really are (some are) appear to be really happy. Reaching for the easy road I would look at these folks and say man they are lucky to just know thats what they want and its just so simple. I was the one that had it figure out, I am going to A and move to B= happiness. Well on the road to A you get offered C and then you get A which now you want D and if you confused by the eqaution then you get it. Man was I naive. Ignorance is really bliss, and the person opens your eyes well damn them. Who wants to be faced with all the harsh realities. Me. A lot of my “outlandish thoughts/ideas” still stand but the road is anything but a fantasy.
That relationship, the bad and good ones you needed them. The people that have been there since forever and the ones that pop in for a cameo, all important. What about those relationships that organically keep circling in and out of your life? Probably worth investagating. If you are pushing yourself, which unfortunately we know the truth of that then you will be faced with hard times. Its unavoidable. You have to have them. They are needed to reach perspective. I am a positive person, there are stages where I was the angry person (I was unhappy,) and there were times where I was the overly spiritual, I have been all the lets say “interesting” phases you can go through but in order to see through all of it I had to go through these stages, these ups and downs to see ok that is what that is. If you stay in neutral you don’t see it, if nothing in your world ever changes, you never take risks you won’t recognize it. If you are always at the top looking down you could care less to look, and your answer is always right, and at the bottom well. Half of these relationships aren’t about your relationship with them, its about you. Your relationship with you and your faith and beliefs. What if that is why we go through half of what we do, to learn for ourselves what we believe and don’t. A test here and there and you can HONESTLY then say you believe this or nope that doesn’t work for me. Not just with food and reading materials (which are great to know,) but your deepest core. When you get that core of you. That, that right there is life because until you get that you can’t truly…live.
What are you looking for? Everyone is searching for… and the more unclear of what you want the more the needle to your compass will spin. You can’t look outward for answers….you have to look in. When you get to know yourself and truly what YOU want you will wake up one day and realize you aren’t in search of anything except maybe more time to yourself.
digging for hidden treasures
"Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self."
larmoyante, via elizabitchtaylor) May 23
There are goodbyes you have and some you thought you had. If you don’t allow yourself to come to grips with the closing of a relationship you haven’t had your closure. If you haven’t felt the pain of not having them in your life… you merely have said “see you later.” Whatever the case give yourself the gift of feeling the pain then letting them go.